I miss Slush Puppies.

I swear, while the entire world is obsessed with Megan Fox, I still don’t get it.  She’s just not my type.  I admit, she’s nice to look at, but she’s certainly no better than at least 25 women I can name off the top of my head.

But she got marginally cooler when I found this Megan Fox quote:

“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

I’m not kidding.

I signed up for Vonage in November.  We have Vonage ads on OSNews, so I thought I’d give them a shot.  I signed up for the $25/mo plan.  The problem is, they use recycled numbers, so we got tons of phone calls over the first month or two from people speaking Arabic.   I had to change my number.  They want to charge you $9.99 to change your number.  But we changed ours.

Fast forward a few months, we still get 99% wrong number calls.  We never use the thing.  So when the device stopped working two weeks ago, we finally decided to cancel.

When I called to do that, I found out that Vonage charges $39.99 to cancel your service.  Buried in section 8.7 of their terms of service, you’ll realize that by signing up, you’re actually agreeing to a contract with a cancellation fee.  A big one too: $39.99 for the service, plus, you have to buy the “device” for the full price: returns are not accepted.  So, to cancel today, I have to pay them $170.  Worse than a damn cell phone carrier.

I’m telling everyone I can now: stay away from Vonage. While some may be happy with their service, their terms are intentionally vague (sdee seciton 8.8, “Recovery Fees“), their service “contract” is misleading and intended, I believe, to sucker you into thinking it’s a monthly service, and their customer service laughed at me when, after he told me that it was “kinda hard to find and understand,” I suggested that they should reconsider their terms.

Vonage sucks.

On Friday, my iPhone 3G S was scheduled to be delivered. I was very anxious that, should it require a signature, I’d be spending the weekend awaiting its Monday arrival. So I took a shot and wrote a little note. I now love our Fed-Ex dude (dudette?).

I am TOTALLY over the word “fail” and almost every time someone says “EPIC FAIL,” what they actually mean is “this is less than ideal.” Boo.

So here’s the day: WWDC 2009 keynote, and we’re discussing iPhone OS 3.0.  But there are still some major things I think are missing from the iPhone.  Here they are, in no particular order:

Wireless Sync

Apple is the king of “no wires.”  They did everything wireless first.  But the iPhone still needs a wire to sync.  They have the perfect syncing technology already: Bluetooth.  Why not permit syncing over Bluetooth? I don’t any limitations on why you can’t sync over wifi, let alone Bluetooth.  This seems like a no-brainer.

New Springboard

How we’ve made it to 3.0 without a better way to manage our apps, without even folders, is a mystery. It’s imperative, especially as iPhone owners install more and more apps, that there is a better way to manage and access apps. It’s time for a re-thought Springboard.

File Management

Seems awfully odd that I carry 8GB of disk space on my hip but can’t carry a single document without emailing it to myself.  It’s time to permit some storage of files on the device.  Older iPods allowed “disk use,” why can’t the iPhone? And if not, at least a manner of loading the files through iTunes would be appreciated.

Background Apps

The chants have been loud and plentiful. We want to run apps in the background. It’s not fair to say it will chip into battery life: we understand that. Let us run down our own devices as we wish, okay?

I found Google Engineer Jean Baptiste Queru’s camera requirements via a link on Eugenia’s blog, and I wanted to share my thoughts on what I look for in a DSLR and what I recommend for the average photographer.  I consider myself a novice, a hobbiest at best, however, in my admittedly brief experience with DSLRs, I have a slightly different set of requirements that might be a little better suited for the public. Note: I shoot Nikon, so most of my examples are with Nikon models, but the same applies to Canon, Pentax, Sony, Fuji, etc).

JBQ’s list starts with sensor size.  Of course, for 99% of the general public, this is irrelevant.  Clearly, sensor size has a massive effect on your pictures.  It affects everything from focal depth of your lens to light captured and is, of course, tremendously important.  However, to get a full frame DSLR, you’re going to be paying at least 2 grand (as of May 09).  And, again, for the general public,  most won’t notice the difference in photo quality with other very capable DSLR cameras.  It’s also worth mentioning that all DSLR cameras have larger sensors than point-and-shoot ones, so you’re already looking at a sensor upgrade.   So while this certainly differentiates high quality cameras with entry level and general prosumer ones, it’s far from the top of my list and shouldn’t be for the average person.   To recap: while the sensor is the core of everything and is tremendously important, it’s not the first thing I’d recommend anyone but the experienced photographer pay attention to.

More importantly, I’d say, the first thing you’d want to look for is availability of lenses.  For the entry level or hobbiest, nothing will have a great effect on your photos than the quality of your lenses.  A fast prime lens will usually turn out fantastic pictures.

The next thing I’d consider is hardware capabilities.  For example, the Nikon D40, D40x, and D60 can only autofocus AF-S lenses.  That means there’s a massive array of capable, affordable lenses out there that can only be used via manual focus on your camera.  That kinda sucks.  A fast prime for the D60 can cost you several hundred dollars even though there are many nice ones out there for about $150-200.

Let’s extend that thought: do you need to take photos quickly? Some cameras can do 3 photos per second, some 4, some 4.5, some 5+.  Do you need rapid photo capabilities?

Next, I’d weigh in that menu structure and buttons matter.  When I had a D60, I was upset at how many buttons I had to hit to change certain settings, whereas onthe D90, I have all sorts of quick shortcuts that makes shooting in manual mode much easier.

JBQ references aperture and ISO, but for the sake of my piece, I’m going to assume we’re only talking about cameras that allow you to control aperture, shutter speed, and ISO.  There are a number of features I find useful but don’t count as so deadly important: it’s nice to have a high res LCD for image review, but since I only delete photos that are obviously not what I want, it’s not critical.  It’s cool to have the ability to crop and retouch on the camera, but I have never once actually used those features on the camera.  So my last essential would be comfort.

The D90 feels much more solid than the D40 and D60, and when it takes photos, it clicks much less harshly, more effortlessly and painlessly.   This makes the entire experience better for me.  Call it subjective, but pick up a D40 and a D90 and you’ll understand.  You want solid construction, not only because it feels better, but also because it’s more durable in the event you drop abuse slap your camera around have an accident with your camera.

JBQ is right about megapixels being last on the list of features.  Photo reviewer extraordinaire Ken Rockwell reports much more elegantly than I on the megapixel pyth.  More relevantly, he explains that while the D60 has greater megapixel capture than the D40, the sensors are the same size, essentially leaving you with more, smaller dots of light, but essentially the same amount of light captured.   I’ll take his word for it.

Despite opinionated bloggers giving their personal views on largely silly subjects like the minute differences in expensive cameras, one thing is definitely true: ultimately, the thing that will make you happiest about spending large amounts of money on a camera is one that looks and feels good and takes pictures that make you happy.

After trying to figure out why my photos all had a small black semi-circle at the bottom, I learned the hard way: you have to remove your lens hood when you’re using a flash.

When you don’t, as you can easily see, the flash is blocked from lighting the bottom of your frame, and you end up with not a black semi-circle, but rather, a shadow.

It only took about a hundred pictures before I finally deciphered this simple bit.  In the process, I removed my polarizer, changed my focus, and even tried the lens hood upside down.

I also figured out that while shooting in manual mode is fun, it’s almost impossible to quickly go from well lit to medium lit to dark without a lot of practice. I shot a small event (my sister’s wedding shower) as a favor, and it took about 10 minutes for me to surrender and shoot entirely in auto.

What will eventually be revealed on Lost? Kristin from E! Online reveals quite a bit without getting spoiler-y.  But this gem should satisfy the mythology geeks:

Damon said, “Here’s the story with numbers. The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn’t wipe it itself out.” This information, in more convoluted form, was leaked out via the online games rather than explained on the show itself, says Damon, because, “That would be the worst thing ever. We have to make the show for the hardcore fans who care about the numbers, but we also have to make it for my mom, who just wants Sawyer to take his shirt off.”