I think Locke is dead.  He died back in LA, and his body was transported back to the island.  Due to the “unique electromagnetic properties” of the island, his consciousness is able to manifest as “real” on the island, but make no mistake: he’s dead, and can never leave.

…And so is Penny.  Ben killed her before he took the O6 back, as he promised Widmore he would.  How else will Desmond ever be coaxed to return to the island? Why, the promise of resurrecting Penny, of course!  Mrs. Hawking told him the island wasn’t done with him, he was just too short-sighted to see why.

The above does pose a few questions: 

Firstly, who else is dead? Surely, if we can spot some of the dead, other people are also dead.

A few other dead people have appeared on or around the island: Hurley’s friend Dave, Yemi, Ana Lucia, Libby, Horace, etc – all appeared after their “death.”  Were they actually there in consciousness? Or was that just the the smoke monster playing tricks, as many have theorized?  

Heroes has, for some time now, sucked.  Long ago, the writers decided to give up on character consistency, and they decided that they would have the characters stop on a dime and act completely contrary to their previous actions.  Case in point: Nathan, who quickly turned on his fellow mutants and now wants Peter dead, apparently.  I can’t even get into Heroes other than to say it’s such a mess it really should be canceled altogether.

Kyle XY is a show I started watching when I was a sick a few years ago, and I kept on for the mystery.  The problem is: the writers revealed too much too soon, and when the basic mysteries were solved, the second season introduced a worthless character, Jesse XX, as a plot device.  Then the plot become bigger as they introduced “Adam Baylin”, and explained a backstory to Zzyzx.  When that concluded, we learned that Madacorp was behind it all.  When that was done, we learned that it was actually “Latnok” was behind it all.  In other words, the lazy writers just keep making up more complex backstory as they go.  I hate to be a broken record, but compare this to LOST, where a clear vision in the first place prevented sloppy cut-and-go storytelling that leaves everyone confused. The good news is, this show was canceled, so hopefully they can conclude it nicely and wrap everything up cleanly.

Grey’s Anatomy, an interesting show in season 1, has gotten worse with age.  Each season has been less intriguing and more annoying.  Every single character sounds like Shonda Rhymes now, they all have the same affectational pitter-patter sing-song intonation.  I hate Izzie, who was once interesting.  I hate George, who has become an extra.  I hate Bailey, who vascillates between a professional and over-attached.  I hate Meredith, who is whiny.  I hate Cristina, who is a cold bitch.  I hate Callie, who whines and made the fastest jump to Lesbianism ever.  I hate the Chief, who is a total pushover.  Actually, I like little Grey, Shephard, and Sloan, and I’m learning to like Dr Arizona, but mostly because she’s kinda hot.   Either way, this show jumped the shark long ago, and I wish they’d put it to sleep.

Prison Break has introduced more plot twists than any show ever in history, but once you get used to it, it’s kinda fun.  However, it’s carried on for 4 seasons now, far longer than the concept of a “prison break” should have permitted.  I am glad they pulled the plug on this, not because it’s not fun, but because some premises simply can’t sustain forever.

On a lighter note, I originally had called “Fringe” a disappointment, but I must say, I’m feeling good about it lately.  It’s interesting, the characters are getting to be consistent and interesting, and the overall storyline is shaping up like the X Files: small mystery solved each week, large mystery gets more complex.  I hope this show gets even more time to bloom.

Heroes is a brilliant concept executed as poorly as possible.  It’s of of the worst written, poorest plot-bearing, illest planned, silliest scripted series ever to grace Sci Fi.  Everything about Heroes stinks except the actors and the core concept.  The rest blows.  Let’s examine:

1. Firstly, we’ve got a science problem  

The science of Heroes is always screwy.  Some might argue that there must be a certain suspension of disbelief with science fiction, and I’d agree.  We suspend disbelief about the fact that there, for example, is space travel in Star Trek, but we expect the writers to follow the known laws of physics in space.  We expect the ship to be sound.  And we expect that when the rules are bent, there’s a reasonable and semi-believable explanation.   With Heroes, we have a day long eclipse that occurs everywhere at once.  We have someone who can run REALLY fast who can apparently bring anyone with her at the same speed.  If you can fly, you can apparently lift anything through flight.  

2. Second, we’ve got a motivation problem

A “volume,” which runs about half a season, takes 13-16 weeks to unfold.  But it occurs in much less time for the characters.  And yet, they go through major emotional changes in a short span.  Just look at Sylar.  He went from villian to man seearching for redemption to soon-to-be loving father to angry to ruthless villian in the span of this story.   Why would he change so quickly? His actions make no sense.  Going from “No, Sylar, I *am* your mother” to ‘I’m working for Dad’ to ‘I’m going to kill Angela’ was too rocky and didn’t give the character time to understand his own actions or emotions.   Let’s not even get started on Mohinder, who makes no sense at all, or Angela, or worst of all, Arthur, who could have avoided this entire series by simply making Nathan not investigate Linderman in the first place, which means no need for Angela to kill him, which means no revenge, which means no Pinehurst, which means no Nathan vs. Peter.  Which leads me to…

3. We’ve got a logic problem

Aside from things like “Why is Sylar changing his motivations so quickly?” there are much bigger logic flaws, like for example, ”Why does Clair hate her father one minute but then love him the next ALL SEASON LONG?” Sorry, but this is central to the show.  The Bennetts – Clair and Noah- are core characters.  So making their emotions so whimsy is not just a character motivation problem, but rather a major logic flaw.  These characters are inconsistent.  Is Clair a cheerleader, a kid, or a company warrior? How can someone work for this elite “Company” with no real training other than smacking a stick around for a few minutes? Why does Clair – and Noah – think  that regeneration abilities makes someone a natural for fighting this huge “war”? 

4. We’ve got plot problems

What was the point of the eclipse? Why did they make a big deal about the catalyst if it was resolved so readily? Where would the catalyst gone had Hiro not shown up to take it?  Why did Parkman have to have the spirit walk? What about HIro? These things were required for nothing other than killing time.  There was barely anything happening this arc.  When you introduce information and plot points that have no real value to the story, it’s your first clue that your writers are in over their heads.  Suckage. 

5. Lastly, we’ve got a concept problem

This concept is so brilliant, the idea of following “specials” around.  But the implementation is flawed, because you’ve decided to commit to your cast.  This concept would have been awesome if, as we followed each volume, we moved to new, interesting characters.  A built in reboot every half season.  But unfortunately, now this show is like any other serialized drama, and I don’t trust it.  I don’t believe Sylar is dead.   I don’t believe Arthur is dead.  I didn’t believe Hiro was stuck in the past, I don’t believe we’ve seen the last of Hiro’s dad.  I don’t know if I believe Meredith is dead.  Elle might be dead, but she was always peripheral.   So nothing is believable, and I’m not ready to be burned again.  

Yeah, I’ll end up watching volume 4, but not because it’s a good show.  Because no one can turn away from a good train wreck.

What is it? It is the moment I’ve been waiting for.  The moment when House realizes his inane behavior is getting unrealistic and unbearable.  The House character is getting boring to me because he shows no growth whatsoever, never learns any lessons.  He’s just a miserable old sack. And the show was losing steam, until last night, because it’s become so formulaic that Cracked magazine took a well-deserved swing at it.  

So, I’m hoping that last night, as the SWAT team blew away the walls of the CAT scan room and House, for a moment, was unsure whether or not his plan had backfired; as House began to understand that his silly actions may have led to Thirteen’s unnecessary death; as House suddenly understood (I think) that he had behaved like an idiot, that maybe we have the catalyst for the first real growth of the character.  I wish – I wish so much – that perhaps the character would show some emotional reaction to the fact that he endangered not just others’ lives, but others’ lives quite recklessly.  

House shouldn’t suddenly become a softie, and he shouldn’t suddenly be a new character, but the same way you drive a little slower for awhile after you think you might be getting a ticket when you pass a cop, he ought to have a little bit of extra thought about his actions, a pause before acting like the cold moron he normally is.  Because any human would, after an event like that.     

Unfortunately, I don’t expect it.  I think next Tuesday will open credits on the same old House.  Too bad.

Last week’s pilot episode set up a great premise.  The “translucent” body effect and the mystical “Pattern,” complemented by stone cold Matthew Abadon Agent Broyles left me wanting more.  I suspect the second episode was much more indicative, however, of what this show will actually be.   Read more after the break.

Unfortunately, last night left me a little let down.  The plot was mostly interesting (Caution! Spoilers ahead): a series of murdered women leads us back to Dr Bishop’s ex-colleague’s experiments regarding rapid aging, and the only way to slow the rapid aging, we learn, appears to be pulling the pituitary gland from the brain of these women – apparently while they are awake and tranquilized, for some unknown reason, rather than simply anesthetized - and… doing something with it.  

It was the surrounding elements that left me unhappy.  First of all, the eccentricity of Bishop is overkill.  The way he speaks was overplayed, and Joshua Jackson, while believable as the boy genius, had lots of poor dialogue, such as “Can you just speak like… a person?”  Secondly, Bishop’s experience with… uh… everything seems stretched.  I was willing to suspend disbelief that many of these things are possible, but to suggest that he was able to do all of these things, in just the second episode, seems pushing it.   Thus far, he can interview the dead, he can grow a human and accelerate aging, and he can project thoughts on a monitor by pulling the electric impluses from a dead ocular nerve – I’m not making this up.   It’s just too far fetched.   

As far as the characters go, I like Anna Torv’s Olivia Dunham.  But she’s no Dana Sculley, and I don’t know if she can carry the show.  As of now, she and Broyles are the only two main characters, as Joshua Jackson’s younger Bishop is merely “the babysitter” for his convict father, and his father is only available as long as he’s part of the picture.  While we all know they are part of the team, it’s yet to be firmly established that the characters are committed to investigating “The Pattern.”  

The problem here is that this show is poised to fill the same type role as “The X-Files,” but thus far, they have lacked when establishing character authority and credibility.  Franky, I’d rather follow Broyles and the “Massive Dynamic” secretary, as they both seem much more immersed in the mythology than our main characters.  

I’m inclined to stick with Fringe because I like the set-up, not because the second episode was so good.  I think many shows need some time to find their niche and this one may strengthen once the actors get used to their characters, give them some identity, and let them play out and evolve.  I fear that, like X-Files, much of “The Pattern” will never be properly explained and that we will be doomed to years of frustration and unanswered questions, rather than an arching story like Lost, where we expect to have much of the backstory revealed to us.  I suspect that four years from now, we’ll still understand very little about The Pattern except maybe a larger tie to the founder of Massive Dynamics.

So, for now, I will continue to watch, I’ll probably give it a season to hook me.    

Your backyard friends

This is the basic premise: in each episode, some subsection of five talking, dancing, young animals meet in their backyard(s) for a pretend adventure. They “imagine” the adventure, and along the way, they sing songs – not just kids songs, the show is a musical.  Each episode also features a new genre of music, some as simple as “Rock N Roll,” but others are as specific as “zydeco.” Along the way, they dance, and the dances are actual animations of real kids dancing fed through some process to make a computer representation.

The thing is, the songs are pretty catchy. And what’s worse, some of them are really catchy. I’ve googled it, and scores of people are searching for the lyrics to some of these songs.  The theme song is one of the most annoying and most popular out there, but my kid loves it.  And then there’s this little number called either “The Tuba Polka” or “The Worman Polka.” Although the closed captions read “Dance little worman polka,” I’m convinced that the below lyrics are correct.

I love to play the tuba and do the polka dance
Makes me feel so happy in my cowboy polka pants
Do the tuba polka! Do the tuba polka!

We’re heading west to play a polka party for our friends
All the way to Cheyenne where the dancing never ends

Dance to the worman polka! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Dance to the worman polka!

When Sherman’s brother gets there, we’ll yell “Surprise!” real loud
And all those western Wormans will dance the polka proud

Dance to the worman polka! Yip! Yip! Yip! Yip! Dance to the worman polka!

If you get a chance and you either have a young chil who will appreciate this or you’re just a music fan looking for a genre that most of your behind-the-curve friends won’t yet have discovered, check out The Backyardigans.

My recommendation for best song: “He’s Green” from “The Swamp Creature” episode, “Boinga,” from the “Mission to Mars” episode, and “The Tuba Polka” from the “Polka Palace” episode.

Fast forward to this weekend, when they are airing “Celebrity Fit Club: Boot Camp.” In some weird twist, they have “brought back” some previous contestants (read: cheap Omarosa-style publicity stunt) to revisit the Fit Club. Now, unlike a show like The Biggest Loser, where contestants work out, eat healthy, live on set, and lose up to 12 to 15 lbs or more each week, these celebutards are given fluff goals like 1 or 2 lbs to lose each week, and they routinely fail because it’s a joke: they show up for a day or two each week, they eat whatever the hell they want, regularly talking about how they fell short, and admit to working out a day or two each week. It’s not a “fit club,” it’s a few attention-starved chunky idiots who can’t stick to a diet.

Anyway, leave it to worthless Dustin Diamond to start his princess behavior again. After carrying on, he let the “drill seargant” get to him when he quit…again. He quit one challenge before it started. He quit another when he claimed to be “out of lung capacity.” Then he skimped on a third the WWE “Divas” hosted. He claims they pushed him too hard and then, when the drill seargant said he wanted the WWE Divas to kick his butt, he suggested he couldn’t be a party to an illegal threat of violence.

But the part that kills me is how Diamond is suggesting that he’s being targetted because he’s Jewish and not because he’s en effing pansy. He’s a whiny, arrogant, big fat baby and he acts like a spoiled child who needs to be shipped off to military school. Every insult – for which these shows are known! – prompts a phone call to his lawyer or to his “manager” (aka his wife). It has nothing to do with being Jewish, Dustin, it has to do with being a grade A douche bag.

Dustin Diamond is effing worthless. He, much like the previously mentioned Omarosa, should never be allowed on TV again. Reality TV may be the crack of programming, but there are some people who are best left completely ignored. Dustin Diamond is one of them.

Heroes, where it was cool last year, is just dull this year. We have several storylines, but none are advancing with any meaningful devices. Let’s examine:

* Mohinder is working with HRG to infiltrate the company. He gives them Molly, and they… uh… lie her down in a bed.

* Nicki is working with the company because… uh… I have no idea. They want to help her, or something, but I don’t know what they’ve done other than make her a bit of a bodyguard.

* The “twins” are the most hated new characters – the Paulo and Nicky of “Heroes,” I think – but I find the whole power between them kind of interesting. Too bad their “coming to America” plotline has gone on about 4 weeks too long.

* Sylar lost his power for unknown reasons we’ll likely never be told, but is still so ridiculously and obviously evil its comical.

* Micah is still a complete tool who is way too positive for a 12 year old and is still using his powers for… nothing in particular — hacking pay-per-view and stuff.

* Monica has a “photographic muscle memory ,” and one of the first things she does is pick up from supporting her family and go to New York to “train,” no doubt leaving her family hungry.

* Peter is the least convincing of all. I know if I had amnesia and woke up and found my entire life in a box, I’d probably ditch my whole life for a 50% cute chick and not bother Googling my name. That way I would never have to find out that my brother is a New York state senator. Also, I wouldn’t suspect there’s an interesting back story with the FIRE THAT SHOOTS FROM MY HANDS.

* Matt Parkman is professionally annoying and is creepily attached to a little girl he’s known for 36 seconds.

* Nathan Petrelli is a drunkard; apparently, senators don’t do publicity and no one recognizes him.

* Claire is kinda hot and actually has the most convincing storyline, along with her a-hole friend West, who behaves more like a real person than anuone else in the entire show.

* HRG has suddenly decided the best way to hide is to trek around the world and murder his ex-mentor in order to find the paintings that show his demise. When he finds them, he can’t make heads or tails of them.

* Someone sent Veronica Mars after Peter, but she didn’t find him in the first 10 seconds, so they recalled her. Haven’t seen her since.

* Who can forget Hiro, who has the silliest story of all. He goes back in time and finds a nasty drunkard theif, who, despite the fact that he’s known a Japanese girl for about a day, goes to the enemy when Hiro kisses her. Lame, get Hiro back to present day. Anyway, if I could bend time, even though I went back to ancient Japan, wouldn’t you just return to the present when you finally do come back so there is no “gap” when you’re missing??

Heroes had better coalesce quickly, because it’s currently just wandering aimlessly. Once your story is just filling time, which I think this one is, you’ve losing people’s interests. The fact is that this story is creeping along at a snail’s pace in order to fill a season. Viewers don’t appreciate that.

How the hell did Ross get such good looking girls? We all know he ended up with Rachel, so let’s start there. Um… WHAT? You’re telling me that the best Rachel, who, by this point, was a succesful lady in the fashion world, could do was… Ross? One look at this twit in his eighties college getup, one earful of his horrible organ music, and any self-respecting woman would run.

Ross may have ended up with Rachel, but shortly after he got her pregnant, he somehow attracted the gorgeous Mona? Mona only dumped his ass after he lied about his marriage history, lied about Rachel’s pregnancy, and then asked his pregnant ex-wife to move in to his apartment. Rightfully… thankfully… she dumped him and went back into the dating pool to date someone more on her level. Mona was a lot of fun and a good sport, too, so Ross had no business dating her.

When Ross took a pregnant Rachel shopping for baby furniture, Katie, upon learning that he liked dinosaurs, said he reminded her of Indiana Jones. She then shamelessly came to his house and asked him out on a date. Even when she learned that he lived with Rachel, she was still interested. Did I mention she was played by the stunning Rena Sofer? Man, this was the biggest break from reality ever attempted on friends.

Somehow, goofy-ass Ross managed to land Elizabeth, a witty college student whose father was Bruce Willis. Elizabeth was also loads of fun, and she was even in that college-age mynx stage. Too bad Ross was such a limp moron and didn’t just enjoy this affair while it lasted.

Inexplicably, Ross managed to land Bonnie, played by Christine Taylor. God only knows why this girl would go for whiny, annoying Ross, but apparently, she found his dinosaur tales amusing, or something.

We mustn’t leave out Emily, who Ross married — well, until he spouted off Rachel’s name at their wedding. Emily was hot in a “I could actually know her!” kind of way, and Ross somehow captivated her too.

Along the way, Ross managed to hook up with an extremely hot scientist named Charlie, who was not only smokin’ hot, she was also interested in his nerdy-side. While we all suspend disbelief, since no such character actually exists, assuming one did, once again, Ross banged her.

All of this completely ignores Ross’ first wife, Carol, who was no slouch herself. She was made exponentially hotter when it was revealed that she was a lipstick lesbian with Susan, who — imagine this — was also kinda hot. Figures, right?

Up next, we’ll examine Brandon Walsh’s dating history and why even though people think Dylan is “the man,” if you had the chance, you’d much rather be Brandon for the ladies alone.

1. The “nice judge” isn’t useless
Sharon Osbourne, who has replaced Brandy as the middle judge, is generally the “nice” one on America’s Got Talent. Space Cadet Paula Abdul serves the role on Idol. The thing is, Abdul is useless. Abdul is a cheerleader at best, and utterly worthless at worst. When pressed, she offers up condescending comments like “Pretty girl!” She generally has no constructive criticism for the contestant.

Osbourne on the other hand isn’t as much nice as ladylike and tactful. She’ll gently offer a “no” with a “thank you,” and you’d believe that even though she hated your act, she’d be happy to serve you tea. She’s a breath of fresh air, and she’s likable, and most of all, she’s able to form complete sentences.

2. The “mean judge” isn’t so mean
Cranky Simon Cowell is part of American pop culture for good. But in recent season, he’s just as useless as Paula Abdul. Cowell usually conjures up comments like “utterly horrendous” and “dreadful” without so much as a blink. But that offers NOTHING to the show. A judge OUGHT to say something like “Your high notes are off pitch” and “when you focus on melody, you lose your connection to the audience.” It’s rare he offers up legit critique, and when he does it, it’s snotty, such as his comments about season 6 contestant Chris Richardson’s nasally vocals.

Contrast that with grumpy Piers Morgan, who is often a disrespectful, snobby jerk. The thing is, more often than not, he can at least offer up some justification for his pissiness.

Where Cowell seems annoyed to be there, Morgan seems like a harsh critic, which is okay in my book.

3. AGT showcases the good, AI focuses on the bad
The endless auditions of American Idol are entertaining, and many people tune in just for that part, often because it’s so funny. But isn’t it telling that America Idol, a show dedicated to finding the greatest singer, spends so long and so much camera time on cretins who can’t sing a note? With the rise of douche bag Ian Benardo (who is such a putz he doesn’t even get a link!), it’s become fashionable to ham it up to get on camera. What a sad state. Idol spends very little time on discovered gems and very much on asshat contestants who couldn’t get a tuning fork to ring on key.

American’s Got Talent, on the other hand, focuses primarily on people who actually have talent. There are very few people who are terrible, and those that are are usually either people with weird or unconventional talents – arguably, still talented – and are generally still entertaining. Take last week, yes, we had to deal with “guy who breaks things with his butt,” but we got ubercool singer/beatboxer Butterscotch, whose audition song has been in my head all week.

4. AGT has variety, AI has little
American Idol has no variety at all. They tried to use a “rocker” with Bo Bice three year ago and Chris Daughtry last year, and they try to always have a soulful black woman and a few other stereotypes need annual reps. Too often, like this most recent season, Stephanie Edwards, Sabrina Sloan, Melinda Doolittle, and LaKisha Jones were all competeing for the uncoveted title of AI “diva.” As a result, the audience revolted, and eliminated the two former names early. Thankfully, by making everyone sing similarly styled songs, you grant an advantage to people who can stand out. However, you also lose your edge. It forces people like Chris Daughtry to reinvent themselves when they don’t need to. Daughtry’s multiplatinum album does not feature a broadway cut, a country cut, etc. AI is about singers performing outside their range. But ultimately, it’s just people recycling other songs, usually in a way that pales to the original.

America’s Got Talent, on the other hand, doesn’t force people outside of their comfort zone. The goal is simple: showcase what you can do. Yes, you must continually step it up if you want to continue to impress. But isn’t that good?

5. Contestants aren’t ridiculed (as often)
The biggest downside of American Idol recently has been the way they have not only made fun of people that deserved it. There was “The Hotness.” There was the kooky Darwin Reedy. But what of poor Nick Zitzmann? Here’s this poor sap’s myspace page. Did he deserve the “ultimate nerd” treatment? How about Jonathan Jayne and Kenneth Swale, aka the “bush baby?” Is it really ok to make fun of people who are honestly nerds or possibly even have some sort of syndrome or disease? Is that what we’ve come to, mercilessly making fun of people for cheap entertainment?

This isn’t just a search for a great singer, it’s a search for entertainment at others’ expense. You could argue that if you try out, you deserve a response. But I’d say that if you aren’t offering anything constructive, a “no, thank you” would suffice. I’d suggest that it’s ok to tell a dancer “you’re too heavy and you don’t get enough height when you jump” but it’s not ok to say “you look like a bush baby” to a singer in a singing competition.

America’s Got Talent is about finding the best talent. Aside from the obvious zaniness, in most cases, the people actually have talent, and it’s just a case of “is it interesting enough?” What you’re watching, even through auditions, is people trying their hardest and doing something well. It’s all entertaining.

Conclusion
America’s Got Talent is, for the most part, positive TV. American Idol professes to be about offering someone an amazing chance. And while it’s great TV, AI is really, at best, a sham. It’s not a “singing competition;” the judges critique the dress, the contestants’ looks, their hair, their audience connection. It’s not about singing. America’s Got Talent is, mostly, about talent. Yes, it’s true, when the audience connects, that bodes well for you. But in the end, Talent is better, smarter, nicer TV. And despite two British judges, I’d venture to say it’s actually more American.

“Cocky” seems to be the prevailing “cool” attitude these days, but while most find it a merely a turn-off, some will regret their cockiness forever, like this idiot bicyclist.

Every heard of this band “The Wrong Trousers?” Here’s their gem cover of Video Killed the Radio Star and a short concert that includes a great Flaming Lips cover.

Two dudes play the theme to Beverly Hills 90210 on the same guitar, which is kinda cool.

And lastly, the vanishing doorway, which is a fantastic prank.

So the last few episodes built up to this big finale, and unexpectedly… nothing really happened. Patsy didn’t turn on Tony. Paulie didn’t get whacked or reveal that he was working with New York. AJ didn’t kill himself. Tony wasn’t arrested. Tony didn’t get whacked… or did he?

The genius of the episode, for me, wasn’t immediately evident. Much of the episode was rushed and very little happened until the hatable Phil Leotardo got shot right in the side of the head in front of his wife (“Wave bye-bye to Grandpa!”), and then had his head crushed by a large SUV.

The real thing that made the episode was the final 3 minutes. Tony goes into a diner. Carmela joins him. One by one, we’re treated to views of all the suspicious characters. Then AJ comes in. Meadow fails at parking. Will the car explode? Will Tony get shot? What will happen? Set to the tune of Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believin’,” which, incidentally, will never be the same to me again, the tension was incredible. My heart was pounding, and it occured to me, David Chase has finally done it. He’s managed to make me feel things like Tony. Every moment is tense. And suddenly, we begin to understand the entire series. Why Tony is in therapy. Why Tony had panic attacks. Why Tony is a cold bastard. It all makes sense when life is contained in that tension sphere.

And then…. black. Did Tony get capped? Maybe. I think early in the series they actually said that when you get whacked, things just go black. Did the weird character emerge from the bathroom and whack Tony?

Or did life just go on? Were we meant to understand the tension and *not* see it pan out into something that justified it? Rather, just see that life as head of a family is stressful and you’re ALWAYS looking over your shoulder?

I think it’s fantastic that we don’t know. Too many shows, like, say a ‘Will and Grace’, make an 8 season run based on conflict, and then suddenly end with “…and then everything worked out perfectly.” Life doesn’t work that way. It’s better for it to end just as the series and the finale played out… life just slowly goes on, one step at a time. Nothing magical. No big round-it-all-up scenario, just things keep going. It’s by far the most realistic way to end a series.

We care about these characters. The show was called “The Sopranos,” which means the entire Soprano family and the entire New Jersey team. It wasn’t just about Tony. So even if Tony got whacked, it would only be the end for him. What of Carm? Meadow? Paulie and the guy who played Vinnie on Doogie Howser? Silvio??

It ended the perfect way — without revealing the ultimate fate of any of the characters, which would have been a let down to most regardless of what it was. The story is far from over, but the glimpse we got gave us the taste it promised. In the end, even gangsters have families, and sometimes, they’re just as disfunctional as the rest of us.

I think the people who will undoubtedly scream “that sucked!” are people who just didn’t get the show. These people were looking for a bloodbath, a climax, a definite and discreet ending. But The Sopranos was never a mobster drama, and it wasn’t supposed to be a Di Nero/Pesci movie. It was a drama about a mobster named Tony and his family. The show was never supposed to include bloodbath battles. It was a normal guy and his family – their struggles through high school and choosing college, through marital problems and redemption, through the passing of old friends and the introduction of new. Whether Tony died or not is irrelevant and intentionally unspecified. It’s left up to the viewer to decipher and decide what to believe.

Personally, I don’t believe Tony was whacked. I think the story just stopped being told. But it’s certainly possible that the guy came out of the bathroom and blew Tony’s brains out.

While it may have been a little too artsy at times, and it was arguably less powerful in season 6, The Sopranos was a masterpiece and was certainly as gripping as any other TV series in recent history.

Monday: Prison Break, Heroes, Studio 60
Tuesday: House
Wednesday: Lost, Criminal Minds
Thursday: The Office, Scrubs, Grey’s Anatomy^*
Friday: Las Vegas^*
Saturday: SNL
Sunday: Family Guy

^* indicates shows that my wife watches and I therefore get sucked into, despite the fact that Grey’s Anatomy is totally unrealistic and Las Vegas is pure pulp trash. That said, I watch them both.

Throughout the week, I DVR lots of other shows for miscellaneous watching: I do one daily King of Queens, because I love the show. I do Pardon the Interuption every weekday, because it’s great in the background while cooking or cleaning. Also, in the bedroom I record Frasier and Mythbusters for watching while dozing off. I don’t watch all of the shows in this paragraph, but I like to have a nice backlog in case I want to just chill for an hour on the weekends or something.

Then of course we have the “sprinkled throughout” shows. These are shows that record whenever they are on – The Sopranos, Entourage, Curb Your Enthusiasm.

That’s a lot of TV, in retrospect, but dammit, there’s plenty of good stuff on TV!