Archive for May, 2008
“We Have To Lie” – The LOST Season 4 Finale
May 30th
Last night’s season finale of Lost was truly everything I wanted it to be. After 4 seasons, we finally are getting to the meat of the story. I keep saying that we learn so much and still know nothing, and while that’s true, I admit that last night left me very happy. Let’s examine:
(1) Desmond’s storyline has come complete circle and pretty much ended.
Although there’s a lot of bits to be filled in, primarily revolving around Penny Widmore, Desmond got his happy ending. We don’t yet understand his future flashes, but he reunited with Penny, and for that, we’re all thankful.
(2) We know that time travel is a factor here, and that the island, via its unique magnetic properties, can itself move in time.
Does anyone else go “wow!” just having confirmed that? I loved that we’re actually seeing some real unraveling of the mystery of the island. Guys… where are we?
(3) We know how the Oceanic 6 became the Oceanic 6.
So they didn’t get off the island… the island simply went away and left them back in the real world …or something. What we don’t know is why Jack, rather than simply saying “no one would believe this, so we have to lie,” decided to lie to “protect” their fellow passengers. Protect them from what? I think a better explanation was that everything Locke said was coming true, so better to follow his advice.
(4) We know that Locke made it off the island
My new theory: Locke, like Ben, eventually had to move the island himself (after the 6 go back?), and as a result, couldn’t go back himself. But what we don’t know is when. Because with Alpert and even the amazingly youthful final-scene Ben, it’s hinted that they can move about through space-time.
(5) We know that Sayid can kick ass
The fight between Sayid and Keamy was appropriately long but didn’t skimp on action. What an awesomely choreographed scene. Sayid is a badass, but I am truly scared of Keamy.
(6) We know Sun can get scary
Sun not only coldly took over Paik Industries from Daddy Paik, but left Widmore with a little pee stain in his pants.
(7) We know that Miles knows more than he says
We seriously need to focus on this guy. Dude knows much more than he says.
(8) We know that Charlotte was on the island before
Well… maybe. But it’s very clearly hinted that she was born there. Uh… huh? Born there? But I thought we established that babies can’t be born there. We know they can be conceived there though.
Is it possible that Widmore was once an “others” leader and had to move the island too? But why would he age and Locke and Ben not? Is it possible that Jin is alive? How about Michael, who was visited by Christian seconds before he died? What does it mean that ghosts have visited Jack, Kate, Hurley, and Michael off the island, at a minimum (we don’t know if Sayid has been visited by ghost Shannon or anyone else)? How about the ghosts that visited Claire and Locke (Locke saw Boone some time ago)? Who is Matthew Abbadon? More importantly, what’s the deal with Jacob and the lists? That started all of this.
So many questions, so long to wait until we get any answers. But overall, I really liked this episode.
American Idol Season 7: And the Winner Is…
May 22nd
I went into last night expecting to be disappointed, not because I felt Archie had more fans than David Cook, but also because season 7 of American Idol has been so crappy that it would have been poetic to have it end in tragedy too.
But alas, it did not. In fact, they really made me look foolish by giving us several gifts.
Let’s review: first, David Cook’s fun “Sharp Dressed Man” with ZZ Top. The performance itself wasn’t so great, but it was fun, which was nice. Also, good to see that ZZ Top is still alive and that Sharp Dressed Man is still a good song, and that American Idol didn’t remove all of the instrumental bits.
Then came a real gem, the second “gave me chills” moment of the season, when Brooke White delivered a gorgeous rendition of “Teach Your Children” with Graham Nash. Nash was humble and restrained, White was on-key, confident, and natural. The entire ballad was not only beautiful, but also well captured. The mix favored the harmony over the melody by just a little, just enough to highlight Brooke – after all, it was her performance – but not overdo it. All in all, it was a home run, and it was so easy to enjoy a connection with Brooke’s entirely sincere happiness at having just performed with Graham Nash.
In case anyone forgot, the best part of the night – by far, in my book – was the fantastic Ben Stiller/Jack Black/Robert Downey Jr. skit as backup singers to Gladys Knight. Jack Black can be a comic genius at times, and his overplayed backup singer was classic, especially when he went off-stage to tend to Downey and return with his pants down – inexplicably. Also, his facial expressions were key to delivery. Well done producers, well done.
Now, as you might know if you’ve read my blog, I am not a David Archuleta fan. I find him to be a singer without a niche, lacking finesse; he has the instrument, but doesn’t know how to control it. He can’t sing a melody without peppering it with runs and vocal tricks. His music is lite FM adult contemporary blandness. His interviews tank consistently as he can’t form a sentence beyond the general “It feels so cool” boringness. And his eyes scare me more than a little. There’s just no substance there to like. My opinion only. This is what bothered me so much: the judges, especially worthless Randy Jackson, with the only exception being Simon once in a while, were unable to offer a single bit of criticism on his last 5 performances. The gave him a free pass most of the season, even when he flubbed lyrics.
So imagine my surprise when during the finale, he came out and capably sang OneRepublic’s beautiful “Too Late to Apologize.” I take that back, it wasn’t just capably, it was flat out great. It was actually better and more controlled than the lead singer from OneRepublic himself! It was really a good note to end on, no pun intended.
And then came the last few moments, when the more deserving David Cook was crowned Idol and began crying. The touching “This is your fault!” he yelled at his brother.
Now, don’t get me wrong, this was still the worst season of Idol, but David Cook may be my favorite Idol yet – the only one whose record I might actually consider listening to. So I have to say, it ends on a high note, and despite my threats, I’ll probably be watching next January.
Math in Real Life, Part 1: Fruit Algorithms
May 21st
I recently went to Costco and bought a rather large tub of blueberries. I am a huge fan of blueberries – in fact, the engine of this blog was once named “blueberry,” – and I am a huge fan of fresh fruit in general. While picking from said tub, I mentioned to a friend that as I munch away, I frequently scan the entire viewable area of berries and quickly select the “best” one in view for my next berry. I do this not just with blueberries, but with strawberries, raspberries, blackberries… in fact, I probably do it with many more foods. But in this case, we did an experiment, which goes thusly:
Shake a tub of berries so it’s a fresh “layout” and have a friend peruse it. Then, you each reveal the “best” berry – the one you’d go for if you were choosing. The first FIVE throws we matched 100%. The next few took us up to two or three picks to match. But the fact remains, we agreed that as we ate, we’d do a quick scan – all in an instant, of course, the deliberation is almost entirely subconscious – and choose the best remaining berry/berries. And furthermore, in the first five throws, we were able to agree with no debate as to which was the best remaining berry, without defining what qualities should be prized in an assessment of “best.” I think many people do this, and not just with fruit, but with all sorts of things. Is it just human nature?
There you go: math in real life.
Time for the 3G iPhone Already
May 21st
Dear Steve,
It’s really time for the 3G iPhone. It’s getting to be ridiculous. Check out Engadget’s news on the 3G iPhone. The news is everywhere, everyone already expects it to be announced on June 9 at your WWDC keynote. I suspect, with the shortages of iPhones everywhere, that the phone is not truly ready. If it was, you would be silly not to release it and take advantage of all the people (a) who are actually looking to buy new iPhones and (b) the people just waiting to snap up a 3G, like I am.
But if it is actually ready and just sitting in a warehouse in China until some crafty worker snaps a spy photo and emails it to a site like ThinkSecret or EngadgetMobile, ship the dang things over here and let’s have at ‘em. We’re champing at the bit for a friggin snapshot of the damned thing, imagine the mass orgas celebration when it actually arrives. It looks like AT&T is going to have their HSPA network complete next month, but we’re ready now. So how about you just release it already so I can buy one and give my wife mine 1st gen? Ya dig?
Thanks,
Adam
Pidgin Pulls a Firefox
May 20th
After reading endless reports about the controversy over the non-resizable chat window in Pidgin, I decided to upgrade to see what all the hub-bub was about. Suffice it to say that the new builds of Pidgin are pretty much unusable for me. The typing portion is now only two rows high and cannot be resized unless you fill it with more text. The gist of the argument is that the code already exists, but the developers chose to remove it and then stuck by their decision, despite a lot of user feedback protesting.
Click the image for a larger version
The problem is, like some others, my text box is locked even smaller, at just TWO lines, like below. The two lines are so small on the application canvas that it’s awkward – it feels wrong.
Click the image for a larger version
Nothing frustrates me more than when open source developer’s forget that their users are important, and the few that take the time to communicate shouldn’t be brushed off and treated like they are unimportant. The Mozilla Firefox developers did this to me before and as a result, I stopped using their software. The Pidgin devs are much worse in this case. They can’t even justify their decision without looking foolish. Score -1 to the Pidgin devs. I’ve reverted to the Pidgin 2.3-series for the time being, but I’m actively searching for a replacement.
Know Your Grunge! – The Answers
May 16th
For those who played along on the “Know Your Grunge” contest, here are your answers:
“Sell the kids for food” is the first line in the Nirvana song “In Bloom.” An easy one to start.
“They’re farming babies while the slaves are working” is from an extremely popular song, but few know the middle lines. It’s from the pre-chorus of Temple of the Dog’s “Hunger Strike.”
“Holding rare flowers in a tomb” is from Alice In Chains’ fantastic 1993 acid ballad “Down in a Hole“
“I’m looking California and feeling Minnesota” is from Soundgarden’s “Outshined.” I think this was actually a pretty popular song back in 1992, and if I recall, it was one of the lines of lyrics easiest to understand in the song.
“And this is my kind of love, it’s the kind that moves on” is from Mother Love Bone’s “Chloe Dancer/Crown of Thorns” and would turn out to be Andrew Wood’s most well-known song ever. There’s a good reason – it rules.
“Drag me far enough to know – I’m blind every mile that you burn” I bet I stumped people with this line from Screaming Trees’ “Nearly Lost You” which made it big after being featured in the movie “Singles.”
“I’m gonna learn ya my philosophy, you wanna know about atrocity” Surely, people remember this line from Stone Temple Pilots’ biggest single off of their Core album, “Sex Type Thing.” It was the song that they made it big with.
“Rests his head on a pillow made of concrete” is the second line on this list sung by Eddie Vedder, this time in Pearl Jam’s “Evenflow“
“They really want you but I do too” was from Courtney Love’s first really big hit, “Doll Parts“
Thanks for playing.
Know Your Grunge!
May 15th
The result of a conversation I had recently is this quiz I made up to test your knowledge of grunge music. These lyrics are all from popular “grunge” songs from the early 1990s – all were released as singles too. How many can you identify?
“Sell the kids for food”
“They’re farming babies while the slaves are working”
“Holding rare flowers in a tomb”
“I’m looking California and feeling Minnesota”
“And this is my kind of love, it’s the kind that moves on”
“Drag me far enough to know – I’m blind every mile that you burn”
“I’m gonna learn ya my philosophy, you wanna know about atrocity”
“Rests his head on a pillow made of concrete”
“They really want you but I do too”
And, if it doesn’t go without saying — NO GOOGLING!
Update 5/16/2008 8:56 UTC: Answers have been posted.
Snippets From the Mrs. Rollins Catalog
May 14th
My elementary school music teacher was a bun-wearing, grey-haired lady named “Mrs. Rollins.” As much as many perceived her to be somewhat austere, I always kind of liked her because I dug music in general. She taught us a catalog of music, much of which sticks with me to this day. Here are a few snippets of the songs, posted for posterity, but also to see if anyone else recognizes any of these songs:
While I don’t recognize the verses of “The Keeper,” I certainly recognize the chorus, which goes:
Jackie boy! (Master!) Sing ye well! (Very well!)
Hey down (Ho down) Derry derry down
Among the leaves so green, O
To my hey down down (To my ho down down )
Hey down (Ho down) Derry derry down
Among the leaves so green, O
Another ditty was a popular Austrailian song:
Kookaburra sits in the old gum tree,
Merry, merry king of the bush is he,
Laugh, Kookaburra, Laugh, Kookaburra,
Gay your life must be.
I have fond memories of a stick-exchange game that went with “Tongo.” I’m not sure the origin, but it was especially catchy.
Tongo (Tongo)
Jim-nee bye bye oh!
Tongo (Tongo)
Oom-bah, de kim bye oh
Ooh a lay
Mah le ka, a lo way
There was a fantastic song about FDR and the New Deal, but unfortunately, I was unable to find any reference to such a song. The below is the best I could remember the chorus
We’re getting a New Deal! A New Deal!
Everyone is ___ about the new deal!
Hitch your wagon to a star, ’cause FDR
is giving us all a brand new deal!
The two-part “Old Woman” was a song we sang when we were very young. Here are a few lines:
Old woman, old woman, Will you let me court you?
Speak a little louder, sir, I just begin to hear you.Old woman, old woman, Don’t you want to marry me?
Lord have mercy on my soul, I think that now I hear you.
For whatever reason, in the pre-ultra-nationalism era, before we were so xenophobic, we sang “Rule Britannia” (but I recall it as “Hail Britannia!”)
Rule, Britannia! Britannia rule the waves:
Britons never will be slaves
Lastly, I can’t leave out one of my favorites as a kid. Having just googled it, I can report for the first time in my life that it’s called “Violins Sing With a Joyful Ring” It was a multi-part harmony whose verses contain this bit:
The vi-o-lin singing with lovely ringing, the violin singing with lovely song.
The clarinet, the clarinet, goes doodle, doodle, doodle, doodle-det;
the clarinet, the clarinet, goes doodle-doodle-doodle-det.
I’m sure there are dozens of songs I’m forgetting, and eventually, I may post another installment of “Songs from the Mrs. Rollins Catalog”, but in the meantime, especially if you found this via Google, do any of these ring a bell? I’d realy like to know more about the FDR/New Deal song.
A Plan for the Yankees
May 14th
It sucks to be a Yankees fan right now. As we read more and more headlines like “Gross singles in 11th, Rays beat Yankees“, it becomes harder and harder to remain so committed.
It’s not like being a Cubs fan, or a Red Sox fan of days past. They were bad teams and they didn’t win. But when you have a team that looks great on paper, and – oh, by the way – is the highest payroll in Major League Baseball, you can reasonably expect a competitive team. That’s why the Yankees need to adopt the plan I’ve been yapping about for the last three or four years. Here goes:
The Yankees are a high priced team consisting of many expensive veteran players. The problem is, it’s a slippery slope, and to remain at that level or better, you must continue to acquire expensive, proven talent. Where does it get you? A team that doesn’t gel, a team that costs more each year, and a team that can’t produce. Why are there $50 million teams that can win in the post season and the Yankees can’t?
Enter my plan. It’s radical. It starts like this: scuttle the ship. We’ve gotta dump Abreu, Damon, Giambi, and Posada. We’ll keep Cano, Jeter, A-Rod, and Matsui. Start replacing your empty spots with younger guys with potential behind the bat. Melky Cabrera, Shelley Duncan… these guys need game time, not just when there’s an injury. Good guys become great only with experience.
Then we have to revisit pitching. We need to invest in some young prospects. Not just one. Don’t pin the hopes of the season on just one guy. Stop investing in $20 million/yr guys who no longer produce. Start sinking some cash into developing young guys by giving them some early innings. Accept that for a few years, we’re going to be not-so-good. And let’s focus on a few prospects we can grow into superstars. After all, until recently, when his effectiveness has declined slightly, who was our secret weapon? Mariano Rivera, homegrown talent.
Now is the perfect time to execute this plan. The AL is as competitive as ever, there are some really good teams, and the odds of making the post-season, frankly, are against us. I recognize that it’s early in the season, but the Yankees strength has always been in slow-but-steady consistency. I don’t see that this year, and even if I did, there are enough good teams that even that old trick may not play out in Yankee favor. If we’re going to lose, I’d like to take advantage of that time to rebuild, restructure, retrain, re-energize, and reinvigorate.
An Argument for PHP
May 11th
Currently, over on Slashdot, there is an article on forthcoming features in PHP version 6. And, like most PHP articles, the comments section is flooded with jackasses arguing that PHP sucks as a language. I get frustrated by the entire “PHP sucks” campaign, largely because it’s like the HTML e-mail argument – mostly driven by the fact that it’s stylish to hate them – but I’m going to go further. I argue than everyone posting about how PHP is a bad language as a whole is an idiot. Every single one. Each is a foolish, arrogant, nerd sheep who can’t think for themselves. Update 5/14/08 20:39 UTC: Okay, this piece was linked by several sources, and the truth is, I had just read some George Carlin, so I was probably more aggressive than I intended to be. What I really mean is that people posting about how PHP is a bad language as a whole without citing any reasons are generally following a trend, trying to look cool, or too narrow-minded to be considered credible. And the responses I’ve seen across the net have, thus far, supported this argument.
Why? Let’s argue for a second that everything people say about PHP is true, as many of the complaints are sound.
It’s true the primary namespace has way too many functions – over three thousand, I’m told. It’s true that the function names are inconsistent, some have underscores, some don’t. It’s true that the function names are often verbose. It’s true that OOP was weak until recently, it’s true that register_globals was a security nightmare. All those things are potential issues, and all languages have them. As the “real programmers” who write Perl would never admit, reading other people’s terse Perl is often a f’ing disaster, even for seasoned Perl-ites. And when using compiled ASP.net – for best performance, natch – you must update your entire site (well, all the concerned ASPX pages and DLLs) to make elementary changes.
That said, PHP is easy. Really easy. And it’s a trivial task to get a website up and running fairly quickly. And you can serve enormous amounts of traffic as proven not only by OSNews (who have been dugg and Slashdotted concurrently), but by Yahoo!, Wikipedia, Flickr, Facebook, and many, many others. And why are there so many open source PHP frameworks, apps, CMSes, etc? Because PHP is installable virtually everywhere, it’s very portable, and it’s really simple to hack up. Try installing something dependent on mod_perl (e.g. Slash or Scoop) and get back to me on the ease of the install.
The fact is, even if everyone’s fears about writing insecure code is true, the ability to make mistakes does not mean everyone does, and those who would forsake “the right tool for the job at hand” shouldn’t be trusted even to water your plants, because they are obviously nitwits. If you can’t concede that PHP can be the right tool some of the time for some situations, you shouldn’t be trusted to code or make adult decisions. No, I argue that the reason they dislike PHP is because many start with PHP and thus, admitting to liking it would make them appear to be a “noob.” It’s because they must appear to be seasoned pros. It’s the bragging rights on the 21st century.
Nobody has ever claimed PHP is the solution to everything, but it is a remarkably easy tool for scripting dynamically generated HTML. And, in my opinion and experience, it does so better than Perl, better than Ruby, and a hell of a lot better than both ASP.net and JSP.