But she got marginally cooler when I found this Megan Fox quote:

“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

I’m not kidding.

Fast forward a few months, we still get 99% wrong number calls.  We never use the thing.  So when the device stopped working two weeks ago, we finally decided to cancel.

When I called to do that, I found out that Vonage charges $39.99 to cancel your service.  Buried in section 8.7 of their terms of service, you’ll realize that by signing up, you’re actually agreeing to a contract with a cancellation fee.  A big one too: $39.99 for the service, plus, you have to buy the “device” for the full price: returns are not accepted.  So, to cancel today, I have to pay them $170.  Worse than a damn cell phone carrier.

I’m telling everyone I can now: stay away from Vonage. While some may be happy with their service, their terms are intentionally vague (sdee seciton 8.8, “Recovery Fees“), their service “contract” is misleading and intended, I believe, to sucker you into thinking it’s a monthly service, and their customer service laughed at me when, after he told me that it was “kinda hard to find and understand,” I suggested that they should reconsider their terms.

Vonage sucks.

Wireless Sync

Apple is the king of “no wires.”  They did everything wireless first.  But the iPhone still needs a wire to sync.  They have the perfect syncing technology already: Bluetooth.  Why not permit syncing over Bluetooth? I don’t any limitations on why you can’t sync over wifi, let alone Bluetooth.  This seems like a no-brainer.

New Springboard

How we’ve made it to 3.0 without a better way to manage our apps, without even folders, is a mystery. It’s imperative, especially as iPhone owners install more and more apps, that there is a better way to manage and access apps. It’s time for a re-thought Springboard.

File Management

Seems awfully odd that I carry 8GB of disk space on my hip but can’t carry a single document without emailing it to myself.  It’s time to permit some storage of files on the device.  Older iPods allowed “disk use,” why can’t the iPhone? And if not, at least a manner of loading the files through iTunes would be appreciated.

Background Apps

The chants have been loud and plentiful. We want to run apps in the background. It’s not fair to say it will chip into battery life: we understand that. Let us run down our own devices as we wish, okay?

JBQ’s list starts with sensor size.  Of course, for 99% of the general public, this is irrelevant.  Clearly, sensor size has a massive effect on your pictures.  It affects everything from focal depth of your lens to light captured and is, of course, tremendously important.  However, to get a full frame DSLR, you’re going to be paying at least 2 grand (as of May 09).  And, again, for the general public,  most won’t notice the difference in photo quality with other very capable DSLR cameras.  It’s also worth mentioning that all DSLR cameras have larger sensors than point-and-shoot ones, so you’re already looking at a sensor upgrade.   So while this certainly differentiates high quality cameras with entry level and general prosumer ones, it’s far from the top of my list and shouldn’t be for the average person.   To recap: while the sensor is the core of everything and is tremendously important, it’s not the first thing I’d recommend anyone but the experienced photographer pay attention to.

More importantly, I’d say, the first thing you’d want to look for is availability of lenses.  For the entry level or hobbiest, nothing will have a great effect on your photos than the quality of your lenses.  A fast prime lens will usually turn out fantastic pictures.

The next thing I’d consider is hardware capabilities.  For example, the Nikon D40, D40x, and D60 can only autofocus AF-S lenses.  That means there’s a massive array of capable, affordable lenses out there that can only be used via manual focus on your camera.  That kinda sucks.  A fast prime for the D60 can cost you several hundred dollars even though there are many nice ones out there for about $150-200.

Let’s extend that thought: do you need to take photos quickly? Some cameras can do 3 photos per second, some 4, some 4.5, some 5+.  Do you need rapid photo capabilities?

Next, I’d weigh in that menu structure and buttons matter.  When I had a D60, I was upset at how many buttons I had to hit to change certain settings, whereas onthe D90, I have all sorts of quick shortcuts that makes shooting in manual mode much easier.

JBQ references aperture and ISO, but for the sake of my piece, I’m going to assume we’re only talking about cameras that allow you to control aperture, shutter speed, and ISO.  There are a number of features I find useful but don’t count as so deadly important: it’s nice to have a high res LCD for image review, but since I only delete photos that are obviously not what I want, it’s not critical.  It’s cool to have the ability to crop and retouch on the camera, but I have never once actually used those features on the camera.  So my last essential would be comfort.

The D90 feels much more solid than the D40 and D60, and when it takes photos, it clicks much less harshly, more effortlessly and painlessly.   This makes the entire experience better for me.  Call it subjective, but pick up a D40 and a D90 and you’ll understand.  You want solid construction, not only because it feels better, but also because it’s more durable in the event you drop abuse slap your camera around have an accident with your camera.

JBQ is right about megapixels being last on the list of features.  Photo reviewer extraordinaire Ken Rockwell reports much more elegantly than I on the megapixel pyth.  More relevantly, he explains that while the D60 has greater megapixel capture than the D40, the sensors are the same size, essentially leaving you with more, smaller dots of light, but essentially the same amount of light captured.   I’ll take his word for it.

Despite opinionated bloggers giving their personal views on largely silly subjects like the minute differences in expensive cameras, one thing is definitely true: ultimately, the thing that will make you happiest about spending large amounts of money on a camera is one that looks and feels good and takes pictures that make you happy.

When you don’t, as you can easily see, the flash is blocked from lighting the bottom of your frame, and you end up with not a black semi-circle, but rather, a shadow.

It only took about a hundred pictures before I finally deciphered this simple bit.  In the process, I removed my polarizer, changed my focus, and even tried the lens hood upside down.

I also figured out that while shooting in manual mode is fun, it’s almost impossible to quickly go from well lit to medium lit to dark without a lot of practice. I shot a small event (my sister’s wedding shower) as a favor, and it took about 10 minutes for me to surrender and shoot entirely in auto.

Damon said, “Here’s the story with numbers. The Hanso Foundation that started the Dharma Initiative hired this guy Valenzetti to basically work on this equation to determine what was the probability of the world ending in the wake of the Cuban Missile Crisis. Valenzetti basically deduced that it was 100 percent within the next 27 years, so the Hanso Foundation started the Dharma Initiative in an effort to try to change the variables in the equation so that mankind wouldn’t wipe it itself out.” This information, in more convoluted form, was leaked out via the online games rather than explained on the show itself, says Damon, because, “That would be the worst thing ever. We have to make the show for the hardcore fans who care about the numbers, but we also have to make it for my mom, who just wants Sawyer to take his shirt off.”

I wish I had the chance to interview Ms Bristol Palin.  As a newly crowned abstinence spokesperson, I’d love to ask her “So, are you saying that you wish you had waited to have sex and that having your baby was a mistake?”

Faced with this question, she has two outs: “No, it was right for me, but it’s wrong for you” or “Yes, I wish my kid was never born.”  It’s lose/lose, isn’t it?

Someone from my work thinks she’d play the religious right card and explain that “the Lord” put the challenge to her so that she would be able to share her experience and prevent further problems.  In short, according to him, “she’d find a way to blame God for it.”  By that rationale, is it fair for me to say “How about I smoke all the weed and then tell you all how bad it is?”

If you’re interested in some revealing behind-the-scenes info, feel free to ask questions now.

Furthermore, let’s be serious, why does gay marriage bother anyone anyway? It doesn’t infringe upon any of your rights. It’s truly a case of “this doesn’t affect me, but I insist you don’t do it.”  It’s holier-than-thou nonsense.   The fact that these so-called protectors of traditional marriage feel strongly perplexes me: Burt Bacarach is still right: “what the world needs now is love, sweet love.”  Those lyrics don’t work when you replace “love” with “exclusionary dogma”.

You don’t have to advocate homosexuality to “be okay” with not limiting marriage via law or constitutional amendment.  Legislating hate and discrimination is the most un-American thing we can do.   We’ll all look back at Miss California the way we look back at people like James Earl Ray, who felt they would be seen as martyrs and voices of reason, but instead just look like fools.

I’m not anti-Chritianity (or any religion at all, for that matter) but – boy, oh boy – those fundies do a good job at making themselves look foolish.

So far, I’m hosting about 5 domains with another one potentially in the pipe. I’m giving everyone cPanel access, which means MySQL, phpMyAdmin, mailboxes, forwarders, Fantastico, and much more. You shouldn’t have to do anything: your feeds should remain intact and you should see no interruption of service.

It’s about time the most amazing and groundbreaking mobile device ever had a proper hands-free solution.