I swear, while the entire world is obsessed with Megan Fox, I still don’t get it.  She’s just not my type.  I admit, she’s nice to look at, but she’s certainly no better than at least 25 women I can name off the top of my head.

But she got marginally cooler when I found this Megan Fox quote:

“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”

I’m not kidding.

On Friday, my iPhone 3G S was scheduled to be delivered. I was very anxious that, should it require a signature, I’d be spending the weekend awaiting its Monday arrival. So I took a shot and wrote a little note. I now love our Fed-Ex dude (dudette?).

I was stuck in pretty terrible traffic last night, as a result, the 5 mile commute home took well over an hour forty five, during which time, I had to entertain a 15 month old. To pass the time, my daughter and I conducted an experiment: to find out which of the 16 fart noises that come in the iPhone’s “Fart for Free” application is funniest.

Fart for Free

I can now report the results.

I find fart #6 to be funniest. Each time I listen to it, I continue to laugh, unlike some of the others, which are funny the first time but no longer surprising or funny thereafter. 1 is good, a simple pop, but 6 continues to make everyone laugh.

But the science part of it is thus: will a 15 month old, who doesn’t speak any real English, whose comprehension is limited to just a few short syllables, find any fart funny at all?

The answer is an enthusiastic yes! Jillian found fart #13 to the funniest, if her reaction is to be believed. She did not laugh at all at fart #1, however, she gave a good smile for #6. She cried during farts 10 and 11, which either means she didn’t find the herald blast variety funny or she was fed up with her car seat, but I’m inclined to believe the former, given that 13 led to fantastic laughter.

There you go: the most objective viewpoint, someone who, thus far is ambivalent towards farts as a whole, someone who has no preference for any particular brand of fart humor, someone who has no sense of embarrassment in this arena, a blank slate, totally unmarred by experience or shame laughed hardest at fart #13. Another great human mystery has been solved: the funniest variety of fart sound effect.

One of my favorite South Park clips.

I wish people like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Joe the Plumber, and Sarah Palin much success. They are the best thing to happen to the Democratic party.

by pintomp3, seen on Digg

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Here’s a quick clip to remind everyone that when you treat those with opposing views with obnoxious contempt, you can almost certainly count on looking like at a douche at some point. Watch everyone laugh at Peter Schiff who very accurately predicts events back in 2006. Great stuff.

Someone please explain this to me.  

It was actually hosted on whitehouse.gov, so this is not a Photoshop.  How did someone convince them this was for real?