Posts tagged Funny
Megan Fox Analyzes Her Farts
Jun 22nd
I swear, while the entire world is obsessed with Megan Fox, I still don’t get it. She’s just not my type. I admit, she’s nice to look at, but she’s certainly no better than at least 25 women I can name off the top of my head.
But she got marginally cooler when I found this Megan Fox quote:
“If you eat Chinese food, your farts come out like Chinese food. If you eat Mexican food, your farts come out like Mexican food. And milk, it’s like—you can smell the warmth in the fart. My wardrobe on Transformers always smells like farts, and I have no idea why.”
I’m not kidding.
Thank You, Mr/Mrs Fed-Ex Person!
Jun 21st
On Friday, my iPhone 3G S was scheduled to be delivered. I was very anxious that, should it require a signature, I’d be spending the weekend awaiting its Monday arrival. So I took a shot and wrote a little note. I now love our Fed-Ex dude (dudette?).
How Funny is “Fart for Free”?
Jan 30th
I was stuck in pretty terrible traffic last night, as a result, the 5 mile commute home took well over an hour forty five, during which time, I had to entertain a 15 month old. To pass the time, my daughter and I conducted an experiment: to find out which of the 16 fart noises that come in the iPhone’s “Fart for Free” application is funniest.
Fart for Free
I can now report the results.
I find fart #6 to be funniest. Each time I listen to it, I continue to laugh, unlike some of the others, which are funny the first time but no longer surprising or funny thereafter. 1 is good, a simple pop, but 6 continues to make everyone laugh.
But the science part of it is thus: will a 15 month old, who doesn’t speak any real English, whose comprehension is limited to just a few short syllables, find any fart funny at all?
The answer is an enthusiastic yes! Jillian found fart #13 to the funniest, if her reaction is to be believed. She did not laugh at all at fart #1, however, she gave a good smile for #6. She cried during farts 10 and 11, which either means she didn’t find the herald blast variety funny or she was fed up with her car seat, but I’m inclined to believe the former, given that 13 led to fantastic laughter.
There you go: the most objective viewpoint, someone who, thus far is ambivalent towards farts as a whole, someone who has no preference for any particular brand of fart humor, someone who has no sense of embarrassment in this arena, a blank slate, totally unmarred by experience or shame laughed hardest at fart #13. Another great human mystery has been solved: the funniest variety of fart sound effect.
Good Luck!
Jan 19th
I wish people like Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter, Joe the Plumber, and Sarah Palin much success. They are the best thing to happen to the Democratic party.
by pintomp3, seen on Digg
Whose Clues? Blue’s Clues!
Dec 17th
Rarely does an entire day pass without me watching at least some span of the Noggin channel. The host of Noggin, the animated Moose A. Moose, is my daughter’s favorite. She’s gone through phases of enjoying Pinky Dinky Doo, The Backyardigans, and Jack’s Big Music Show, but she has been captivated by Moose since she was just 4 months old. She also has shown a lot of interest in Dora the Explorer.
Steve: Lame, But He Knows It, Thus, Cool
Lately, due mostly to Noggin’s schedule change, she’s been watching a lot of Blue’s Clues. At first, I hated this show. It’s about as dumbed down as a show can get, at first glance. But lately, I’ve been realizing something: I’ve picked up a lot of sign language in passing glances.
Blue’s Clues is not that interesting. As a show, it’s really basic, and not very interesting. Unlike, say, Sponegbob Squarepants, where after 40 seconds, if the kid walks away, I watch the rest, Blue’s Clues is completely boring. I’ll happily shut it off. And yet, when she is watching, I love that she’s getting the sign.
I have to admit that I like Steve much better than Joe. Steve was natural with sign language. And he seemed genuine, if possible. He was a normal dude, just chillin’ with his animated dog Blue, who apparently, would only communicate via elaborate clues to a master puzzle. The whole thing was very normal, in an “I have an animated blue dog who leaves me clues to answer simple questions which I figure out whilst signing and then track in a notepad for future reference” kind of way.
Steve was also a very routine oriented guy. Same shirt, every day: none of this new-fangled several colors nonsense. Also, he didn’t grin all the time like a complete tool.
Joe: Thinks He's Cool, Is Actually D-Bag
But Joe sucks. Joe is always giving a stupid, goofy grin that deserves a slap. Unlike Steve, who seemed generally laid back did a great job of hosting a kid’s show, Joe was a trying-too-hard pretty-boy who spent his time hosting Blue’s Clues living in Steve’s big shadow. Aside from having a much more polished and “I wanna be an actor” finish, he was so effortful in his performance that it came off as both condescending and tiring. His silly oversmiling and unnatural “side running” is so odd looking it leaves me wanting to take Steve out for a beer, just for not sucking so much.
I think Joe is an actor thrilled to have a gig, trying so hard to be good at it, and yet, coming off as so desperate it makes me roll my eyes. Every emotion is so overplayed I’m sure my 14 month old must mutter “What a sodding twit” under her breath.
Either way, Blue’s Clues, despite being entirely blowsome as a TV show, is pretty decent as an education tool, largely due to the amount of ASL mushed into the show. If your kid has to watch something, you could do a lot worse than Blue’s Clues, which is likely why a show that ran from the mid nineties through 2005 or so is still aired several times a day.